Healing the Whole ...

This week I have moved house. It is apparently the third most stressful thing you can do (along with getting divorced which is why I am moving house!) but coupled with that over the last 14 years I have fallen in love with my house. And I don’t mean I love it like the inanimate object that it is or I love the memories I have made in it. I mean I am in love with it like you are in love with a person. It is part of me. It is my safety net. My comfort blanket. The one that is always there. The one that will never let me down. I know where I stand and it always delivers exactly what I expect every time. I could go on.  I have been through some very difficult times in my house but it has always kept me safe. I never witnessed nor was the victim of any violence in those four walls. It never gave me anything but support. Four walls of it. And a front door that locked and shut the world out. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been hiding in my bed while the door knocked an...

I know I want to write this blog but it's a tough soul-baring one. Even more so than the entries here that have gone before! I plan to share this more publicly too because it's important. For me and for others. My life coach asked recently what kind of year 2017 had been for me. "It’s been the year I got shit done" I replied. And it has been. I finally published my book (The Superhero I was Born to Be available from www.sarahwindrum.co.uk in paperback or https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B077DVD5R2 in e-book), got divorced, and am about to move house. It was also the year I removed some of the emotional 'quick fixes' from my life that I discuss in Superhero. I got rid of the things that gave my heart a high of temporary pleasure followed by a low of longer term regret. I started 2017 determined my heart would be strong and resist all temptation. I went in hard. While writing Superhero, I identified the emotional fuel my heart needs. So starting the year I felt...

"You ok?" A stock phrase we often use as a greeting. See also "How's things?" or "What's up?" But in using them as a greeting I believe we risk forgetting what it is we are actually asking. And vice versa, when asked, we may lose the opportunity to respond honestly. In my new book, The Superhero I was Born to Be, I talk about letting go and being real. Giving away a small piece of myself in order to build my superpower team around me. Giving everyone a chance to build a bridge of trust. And accepting that some people will want to and some won't. I have started using the question greeting as an opportunity to give away that little something. Instead of giving a stock answer of "yeah, I'm fine" or "things are ok"; I will offer a real response. And often this is not what the recipient wants because they didn't really want to know if I am ok. They were just offering a greeting. For example, recently the man I used ...

I have been thinking a lot about this recently. How hard the first step is for those around me to take. Is it because, like Martin Luther King predicted, we want to see the whole staircase? I take a lot of first steps. I seem to be good at doing it. And then I grow frustrated when the climb starts to look tough and I turn around and no one else is there. No one else seems to have been brave enough to make the leap with me. In their defence, I may not see the whole staircase but I certainly see the top. I see what it could be like if I make it there. Where I fail is I don't see all the hard work in between. I have a real thing for men that are physically fit and strong. I used to think it was an evolutionary thing. And while I still think that is partly true, whilst talking about this recently with a girlfriend over a glass or two of gin, I realised something else is also at play. You have to have tenacity and drive to maintain strength and fitness. And I admire that immensel...

My daughter came to me this morning and told me superheroes aren't real. That doesn't sound so bad but less than 9 months ago, before she started school, she wanted to be Batman when she grew up. Firstly she came home and told me she couldn't be Batman because she was a girl, which upset me a great deal. Now she tells me Batman and all his superhero friends aren't real because someone at school told her so. It broke my heart. In my 5 year old little girl I see perfection, innocence, sensitivity. I don't want her to change. I don't want the world to stop her being her. But I know it will shape her. It has to. It has shaped me. My job is to build her resilience with my love. I didn't have that growing up and have suffered from it. I was given pain at a young age but not the strategies to deal with it. My resilience has taken a long time to build. My inner core is still shaky and in need of constant support. I told her superheroes did exist. I said she ...