Healing the Whole ...

This week I have moved house. It is apparently the third most stressful thing you can do (along with getting divorced which is why I am moving house!) but coupled with that over the last 14 years I have fallen in love with my house. And I don’t mean I love it like the inanimate object that it is or I love the memories I have made in it. I mean I am in love with it like you are in love with a person. It is part of me. It is my safety net. My comfort blanket. The one that is always there. The one that will never let me down. I know where I stand and it always delivers exactly what I expect every time. I could go on.  I have been through some very difficult times in my house but it has always kept me safe. I never witnessed nor was the victim of any violence in those four walls. It never gave me anything but support. Four walls of it. And a front door that locked and shut the world out. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been hiding in my bed while the door knocked an...

"You ok?" A stock phrase we often use as a greeting. See also "How's things?" or "What's up?" But in using them as a greeting I believe we risk forgetting what it is we are actually asking. And vice versa, when asked, we may lose the opportunity to respond honestly. In my new book, The Superhero I was Born to Be, I talk about letting go and being real. Giving away a small piece of myself in order to build my superpower team around me. Giving everyone a chance to build a bridge of trust. And accepting that some people will want to and some won't. I have started using the question greeting as an opportunity to give away that little something. Instead of giving a stock answer of "yeah, I'm fine" or "things are ok"; I will offer a real response. And often this is not what the recipient wants because they didn't really want to know if I am ok. They were just offering a greeting. For example, recently the man I used ...

It's my favourite bit in the film Avatar. The blue-skinned native female sees Sam Worthington's character Jake Sully in his human form and looks deep his eyes. "I see you," she says in her native tongue, to which he responds the same. Nothing has changed between them. They are still in love. I cherish that idea. I think it's Buddhist. The concept that someone will recognise you no matter what form you take. That you have something quintessentially you that can be read and understood in your eyes. I have been searching for that man who sees me and loves me as I am for all my adult life. But the man I met, whom my heart won't let go, appears only to see my armour. My ability to appear powerful and fearless in my fight to make the world a better place. I want him to see the vulnerable girl full of fear who every day finds the strength to fight on anyway. But to him, she doesn't exist. He sees a warrior princess. I suppose I should feel flattered that m...

I am frightened of a lot of things. I have got much worse as I have got older and especially since having my daughter. I am fearful not fearless. I cannot cope with hearing about bad things happening in the world. I don't watch the news and only read the local newspaper. I cannot watch the soaps or dramas. I can't bear to see how awful human beings can be to one another even in fiction. I am scared of anything that could bring harm. Heights is probably the big one that most affects my day to day. My daughter knows how frightened I am of everything. We make a joke out of it as she soars high on roller coasters with my Dad or my nieces and nephews and I stay a quivering wreck at the bottom waiting for her safe return. So last year when my friend asked me to loop the loop in a tiny plane over a local airfield, I was not keen. As well as fear, I suffer with motion sickness and have thrown up on planes, trains, automobiles, (and boats!) many times in my life. But it was for a char...