Healing the Whole ...

My daughter came to me this morning and told me superheroes aren't real. That doesn't sound so bad but less than 9 months ago, before she started school, she wanted to be Batman when she grew up. Firstly she came home and told me she couldn't be Batman because she was a girl, which upset me a great deal. Now she tells me Batman and all his superhero friends aren't real because someone at school told her so. It broke my heart. In my 5 year old little girl I see perfection, innocence, sensitivity. I don't want her to change. I don't want the world to stop her being her. But I know it will shape her. It has to. It has shaped me. My job is to build her resilience with my love. I didn't have that growing up and have suffered from it. I was given pain at a young age but not the strategies to deal with it. My resilience has taken a long time to build. My inner core is still shaky and in need of constant support. I told her superheroes did exist. I said she ...

Having a child is the most selfish thing you can do. Raising a child is the most selfless. I thought a lot about becoming a parent. I had plenty of time to. I lost twins when I was 28, another baby at 29, and finally had my precious beautiful little girl when I was 31. I had medical intervention in 2011 in order to carry her. I spent a year thinking about whether I should or not. Thinking about why I wanted to be a mother so badly. My daughter likes to tell that story. She's the hero in it. The strongest baby who survived. Resilient even before she was born. When I was a child I was given pain to deal with but not the strategies to cope with pain. As a result, I still struggle to deal with difficult emotions. I have learnt as an adult that being sad is ok and it will pass. That it doesn't mean the world is ending. My daughter already knows that. And she is five. I firmly believe the most important part of my role as a parent is to build her resilience through love....