I See You ...

It's my favourite bit in the film Avatar. The blue-skinned native female sees Sam Worthington's character Jake Sully in his human form and looks deep his eyes.

"I see you," she says in her native tongue, to which he responds the same. Nothing has changed between them. They are still in love.

I cherish that idea. I think it's Buddhist. The concept that someone will recognise you no matter what form you take. That you have something quintessentially you that can be read and understood in your eyes. I have been searching for that man who sees me and loves me as I am for all my adult life.

But the man I met, whom my heart won't let go, appears only to see my armour. My ability to appear powerful and fearless in my fight to make the world a better place. I want him to see the vulnerable girl full of fear who every day finds the strength to fight on anyway. But to him, she doesn't exist. He sees a warrior princess. I suppose I should feel flattered that my armour is so convincing. But all I feel is sadness.

I want him to see me. My fears. My vulnerabilities. My softness. Like I see his.

Or at least I think I do ...